Tuesday, 20 June 2017

40 Funny Love Quotes Images & Pictures

Share the best funny love quotes collection by famous authors: Expressing your affection to the apple of your eye does not need to be too serious! Sprinkle a little humour to make it more memorable for him or her. Love is often romantic, but a good sense of humor makes it even better. What better way to improve a relationship than by laughing together? Laughter helps improve your mood, and helps us bond with others. One famous saying tells us 'Laugh and the world laughs with you.' - Here are some really funny quotes about love from famous authors that will leave you smiling.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.? Jackie Mason

To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.? Anonymous

Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms.? J. P. Senn

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.? Chris Rock

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?? Jean Illsley Clarke

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.? Richard Pryor
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? ? Lily Tomlin
A guy knows he�s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.? Tim Allen

My brother is gay and my parents don�t care, as long as he marries a doctor.? Elayne Boosler

When you�re in love, it�s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.? Richard Lewis

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don�t really know me.? Garry Shandling

Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other�s minimum daily requirements.? Kathy Mohnke

Love doesn�t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.? Franklin P. Jones

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.? Bill Maher

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.? Ray Romano

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn�t show up on X-rays, but you know it�s there.? George Burns

Marriage has no guarantees. If that�s what you�re looking for, go live with a car battery.? Erma Bombeck

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.? Professor Irwin Corey

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.? Anonymous

My wife was afraid of the dark� then she saw me naked and now she�s afraid of the light.? Rodney Dangerfield

What�s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.? Cindy Garner

Love is the answer, but while you�re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.? Woody Allen

If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.? Katherine Mansfield

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. ? Billy Crystal

Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don�t; men hope women won�t change, but they do.? Bettina Arndt

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.? Erich Segal

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.? Joan Crawford

A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. ? Spanish Proverb

I love being married. It�s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.? Rita Rudner

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you�ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you�ll become a philosopher.? Socrates

Romantic love is mental illness. But it�s a pleasurable one.? Fran Lebowitz

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.? Russell Brand

Gravitation can�t be held responsible for people falling in love.? Albert Einstein

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. ? Ring Lardner

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you�re on something.? Fran Lebowitz

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you�re on something.? Fran Lebowitz

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you�re in.? Richard Jeni

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. ? Johnny Carson

In love, somehow, a man�s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.? Rowland

Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to his wife hath said, �Breakfast be damned, come back to bed.�? Anonymous

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? - Jean Illsley Clarke

Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you�d be surprise at the large number that re-enlist.? James Garner

An arhaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.? Agatha Christie

"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough." � Russell Brand

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you�re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone�s feelings.? David Sedaris

There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach.? Barbara Hower

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." � Groucho Marx

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.? Will Ferrell

If you text �I love you� to a person and the person writes back an emoji � no matter what that emoji is, they don�t love you back.? Chelsea Peretti

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? ? Lily Tomlin

When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged.? James Montgomery Bailey

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.? Judith Viorst

Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. ? Jewish Proverb

Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.? Joyce Brothers

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.? Chelsea Handler

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

If you love �em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love �em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you�re in love.? Miles Davis

My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.? Jack Benny

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. - Carroll Bryant

Marrying a man is like buying something you�ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn�t always go with everything else.? Jean Kerr

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.? Anonymous

Love is sharing your popcorn. ? Charles Schultz

Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass.? English Proverb

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.? Judith Viorst

Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.

A kiss is a rosy dot over the �I� of loving.? Cerano de Bergerac

I wasn�t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth!? Chico Marx

"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on." � Joan Rivers

My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine�s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside � Made in Taiwan!? Leopold Fetchner


What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. ? Pearl Bailey

I was talking about your salary, when I said it�s impossible to buy my love.

You should tell your lover that you love him every day, since you never know when you�ll discover somebody better.

Hope you enjoyed these funny quotes about love. Please Don�t forget to share funny i love you quotes, funny love quotes to your Friends and family member. and you might want to check out our list of cute love quotes as well.

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40 Funny Love Quotes Images & Pictures
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